Category: Reflections

March Forth, Mother

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I snuggled him to my chest, sniffing that sweet baby smell in his hair. Oh my. I really do love these days of home keeping, mothering, and learning with my children. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments, which usually involve me shutting myself into my bedroom, with coffee and books or crying on my hubby’s shoulder. 🙂 I haven’t always loved this life and still struggle with discontent. However, for some reason, 14ish years into this gig, I’m beginning to really settle into this grove. I truly can say I LOVE it now. Yes, it’s hard, physically and mentally, but it’s also so beautiful. I’ve been trying to figure out what is the difference. I think the difference is that I’m not fighting it anymore. The idea that there is “something” out there later or after I’m finished mothering. Hah. Mothering doesn’t end. The idea I’m not doing anything worthwhile or meaningful is hogwash. I can be all that God has for me right here and now. The false idea that there is one way to mother and you must meet that standard or you get a big fat F. Nope. I have my strengths, I do my best, focusing on the things that are most important for me, my family, and my faith. I prioritize and then just relax down into them. Like a comfortable sweater on a cool spring day. Contrary to pretty much everyone else, I don’t want to be a woman who does it all. I want to do a few things WELL.  I put my hand to the plow, sow, and lay a feast of love, beauty, and a smooth-ish rhythm to our days. I trust by faith that the Lord will complete that which He has started in my children and I. So, I’m challenging myself to march forth, boldly and bravely. Enjoy each step fully, no reservations, and no fear. Motherhood is a beautiful gift.

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Anne of Green Gables: Chapter 8

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Continuing our reading…

There are a few parts in this chapter that I just love. I’m noticing over and over again, that Marilla needed Anne much more than Anne needed her! Anne just brings so much life and beauty into Marilla’s life.

Marilla’s stern, hard-nosed Calvinism in the face of Anne’s questioning, open, dreamy state is such an interesting contrast. I just adore this moment.

She found Anne standing motionless before a picture hanging on the wall between two windows, with her hands clasped behind her, her face uplifted, and her eyes astar with dreams. The white and green light strained through apple trees and clustering vines outside fell over the rapt little figure with a half-unearthly radiance.

“Anne, whatever are you thinking of?” demanded Marilla sharply.

Anne came back to earth with a start.

“That,” she said, pointing to the picture-a rather vivid chromo entitled, “Christ Blessing Little Children”-“and I was just imagining I was one of them- that I was the little girl in the blue dress, standing off by herself in the corner as if she didn’t belong to anybody, like me. She looks lonely and sad, don’t you think? I guess she hadn’t any father or mother of her own. But she wanted to be blessed, too, so she just crept shyly up on the outside of the crowd, hoping nobody would notice her-except Him. I’m sure I know just how she felt. Her heart must have beat and her hands must have got cold, like mind did when I asked you if I could stay. She was afraid He mightn’t notice her. But it’s likely He did, don’t you think: I’ve been trying to imagine it all out – her edging a little nearer all the time until she was quite close to Him; and then He would look at her and put His hand on her hair and oh, such a thrill of joy as would run over her! But I wish the artist hadn’t painted Him so sorrowful looking. All His pictures are like that, if you’ve noticed. But I don’t believe He could really have looked so sad or the children would have been afraid of Him.” 

pg 55-56 ❤

Marilla calls these observations irreverent!!!! Anne is astonished because she really felt moved spiritually by this art. In the same vein, Marilla demands her learn the Lord’s Prayer because she is next to “heathen” and Anne looks on it lovingly as poetry! Oh my, it just makes me think how too often I despise the open, fresh way my children look at things, instead demanding some dogmatic adherence to what I think. In reality, the faith and relationship between Anne and the Lord here seems miles ahead of Marilla, in my humble opinion.

Any thoughts on this chapter? There are many other beautiful passages in here. Sigh. 🙂

 

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