“The desire to give”: poem & Ansel Adams intertwine…

::where does this pathway go?::

“Beauty Glut” by A.M.Pine

Beauty glut, beauty bright

maybe I’ll crack open

and my seams

will spill out

a little light

cause I can’t

hold this all

sieve myself

rend myself

funnel

channel

squeeze myself

fill up

spill out

faucet

spigot

shower

keep the beauty

flowing

conduit

current

carry

receiving

repackage & repurpose

from me to you

from you to me

from Him to us

from us to Him

blood & beauty spilled

nail holes & hoarding hurts

beauty & blood spurts

gasping

glut groaning gifts

growing gains

beauty born

give & it shall be given

“Art is both love and friendship and understanding: the desire to give. It is not charity, which is the giving of things. It is more than kindness, which is the giving of self. It is both the taking and giving of beauty, the turning out to the light the inner folds of the awareness of the spirit. It is the recreation on another plane the realities of the world; the tragic and wonderful realities of earth and men, and of all the interrelations of these.”

Ansel Adams, p.37 Ansel Adams: An Autobiography, emphasis mine

Monday Ponderings {November 7th}

Gather my broken fragments to a whole,

As these four quarters make a shining day.

Into thy basket, for my golden bowl,

Take up the things that I have cast away

In vice or indolence or unwise play.

Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart,

But make it a whole, with light in every part.

George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul

||on hot water therapy ||

||filtered light through shower curtain, drips trickle off silver-y, soap-scummed faucet…Irish Spring Soap scent, sniffing out a 32 year old memory of Grandma Fritz, her chunky, pink bubble-shaped bubble bath bottle, her chain plug, while all the dregs drain down…salty tears mixed with mineral-laden water in need of salt to soften. Hey, I’m a cheap water softener, if only my tears could be useful in that way…stretch marks, stretched-taut strength, silent screams through the warm rain. Hair plastered close, veil washed over my racing thoughts…sore nose bridge, loose glasses, may I be able to see pass this all? Purple, frayed, musty towel waiting, dirty feet bottoms planted in the swirling soap suds. Rubber duckies, colorful boat, army man with one leg, Dove Daily Moisture Shampoo, please bring me an olive branch of peace and hope. Hot water sears eczema, coconut oil slathering ahead, healing really does hurt. Worry-disease drained away for the moment, deep breath, steam in, selfishness and stress out. Water pounding massage, life paused in curtained, watery world away from the “on-ness” of it all, soul’s dirty roots deeply watered for another day. Size 12, barely buttoned, unzipped heart, out of chest, maybe hot water therapy will help this heavy-heart, too? Scrub this heart anew.

Joy Journal: November 3rd🍂

Book mail gift 💝 and breakfast ♥️🍂

📖Dear Friends,📖

What is inspiring you or bringing you joy currently? Please join me in comments, in your journal, or on your blog!

🍂I’m grateful today for…🍂

“For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness 🕯, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” 🪔

2 Corinthians

|| searching for cemeteries || diluted sunlight, cool breezes|| another daughter enjoying Black Beauty || learning about Stalin, fascinating discussions || nature journaling paraphernalia spread out || wild flower weed bouquets || candle-lit chili suppers ||cardamon cinnamon, those words AND the new tea || new notebooks || orange-y, brown, green, and purple-y pens ||the wonderful words: russet • plum • golden • scarlet• || roar of wind through remaining leaves ||

|| chasing words || trees at local arboretum, so many varieties in one delicious spot || Joni Mitchell’s songs, art, and dipping a little into her biography || #380 of the Creative Pep Talk Podcast || Vincent’s letters to Theo || acorn tops in bottom of tote bag || box of raspberries || piece of paper birch bark || zoo ticket memories repurposed as bookmark || kitty sleeping on me, all stretched out, so warm || watching “You’ve Got Mail” with hubby, an autumn tradition || golden hue of this time of year || thrifted moccasins ||

|| perusing earrings and rings while thrifting || little animal vignettes in surprising places about home || Tombrow pens 🖊 || stickers of trees and acorns ||my little one falling asleep on me while reading the Tailor of Gloucester || every morning, his soft squishy Ezra Jack Keats poem and snuggling moment with me || Old Farmer’s Almanac tidbits || mums and fat squat pumpkins all in a row || cardigans swinging from back of all the chairs -|| new pencils, crayons, and composition notebooks ||bells ringing on church ||

What are you noticing today? I’m so grateful for the little gifts all around me! 🥹♥️

Monday Ponderings {October 17th}

Unity is strength and happiness; separateness is weakness and misery.

Charlotte Mason, Scale How Meditations

Monday Ponderings {September 19th}

We all know that there are few surer tests of character than the way rebuke is sustained. The meek, frank soul accepts reproof with unclouded brow and simple gratitude; the ungentle soul resents.

Charlotte Mason, Scale How Meditations

Monday Ponderings {August 29th}

I ask Thee for a thoughtful love,

Through constant watching wise,

To meet the glad with joyful smiles,

And wipe the weeping eyes;

And a heart at leisure from itself

To soothe and sympathize.

Wherever in the world I am,

In whatsoe’er estate,

I have a fellowship with hearts

To keep and cultivate,

And a work of lowly love to do,

For the LORD on Whom I, wait.

A.L. Waring, The Cloud of Witness, p. 356

Joy Journal: August 5th

Early morning prayer and Bible reading outdoors has been life giving the last few weeks 🌿♥️🌿

☕️Dear Friends,

What is inspiring you or bringing you joy currently? Please join me in comments, in your journal, or on your blog!♥️🌿♥️

I’m grateful today for…

This 🌿quote🌿…

It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity – a friend on IG reminded me of this quote and it was exactly what I needed.

||pressing pizza dough down into three pans, flour-y hands|| talking with 3yo about his Schliech puma and jaguar toys||our new rescue kitten, Ghibli or Gibs||laying in the breeze and looking up through the Honey Locust to a patch of blue above||Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz, an unique, adult murder mystery within a murder mystery ||Black-Eyed Susan’s opening their eyes||

3yo and I’s snuggle reading 📖 one day…

||my daughter’s chamomile flowers|| a wildflower bouquet from my oldest son|| new paneling slowly going into the bathroom || delish iced coffee made by friend, talking about homeschooling, life, and books with my bookstudy women||Christmas gift planning, thrifting and homemade ideas|| catching 3 yo on floor with pile of books, slowly turning the pages|| looking up and around and seeing 3 children reading near me ♥️📚||

||stacks of picture books to put away|| Malcolm Guite reads C.S. Lewis’ poetry at The Kilns ||zucchini, cucumber , and lovely green peppers from Amish stand||glorious sunrises breaking the dark’s hold || star-drenched skies|| paper bits, quotes, snippets, collage journal resurrected || jalapeño tango paint color still growing strong from Menards|| the summer smell, new mown hay, a friend said it “smelled green” and I looove that 🌿🌳🪴💚||

Amish 🌾 wheat…

||a friend texting me a quote from the book she is reading || white paint to wash away a few years of country living ||Miriam Elizabeth’s Jane Austen July vlogs on Booktube || using a laundromat for the first time in a long time, reading The Princess Bride while waiting for clothing to dry|| old Carl Larsson calendar art cut out and reused||Austin Kleon’s email newsletters, so many weird fascinating things to get creative juices flowing ||single sunflower 🌻 that grew under bird feeder || Berber van Gorp’s peaceful ASMR art journaling YouTube channel ||

Book choices for an upcoming road trip…📚📚📚

What’s on your gratitude list? Are you still soaking up summer or gearing up for autumn? I’m praying and planning a bit, but I’m still loving summer. I’m sooo enjoying reading 📖 outdoors and hanging out our 🧺 laundry. 🌿🌞♥️🌻🌿 Have a wonderful weekend, friends!

Love 💕, Amy