My four boys randomly in age order, right to left š
Dear Friends ~
Iām sure you feel like me, scrambling to soak the last few rays of sunshine and squeeze out all the remaining summer juiciness. Autumn activities are fast approaching {just 18 days till our homeschool co op beginsā¦eeek!} so I thought Iād attempt to finish my thoughts I started weeks ago š and in Part 1 of this post. I love the chatty bits of social media, the longer form things, that slow me to a snailās pace so I can reflect and practice gratitude. This has got me seriously considering my online haunts and which are serving and encouraging me or stressing me?! Still considering that.
We squeezed in a last few summer-y things and hosted my 3rd homeschool graduates party in the last few weeks. Whew. Iām thankful for a few weeks of quiet {ish} home time to spruce things up and finalize my homeschool plans. Just off the top of my head, here are a few things Iām focusing on, looking forward to, and challenging myself in for these next few weeksā¦
ā25-ā26 Willow Tree Academy Vision Board
Home Education Inspiration ~ Jen over at heavenstobetty had a wonderful, inspiring post about her DIY Mother Summer Conference. I was particularly inspired by her vision board. I collaged one for myself while listening to my audiobook of Physik by Angie Sage. Iām focusing on seasonal rhythms, simplicity, home, books, and 1 Thess. 4:11. Iām praying and meditating on the direction, images, hopes for this coming school year. Asking the Lord for a humble heart stayed on Him. ā„ļø
One of the many reading stacksā¦and a beautiful, encouraging card from a church friendā¦
Habit Cultivation ~ Iām working on really cementing some habits that I worked on this summer, little things that add up with my home, health, and my heartā¦
Walking after my prayer time, cleaning up after each meal as much as I can, and taking extended breaks from mediaā¦
Sophie isnāt super excited by her origami hat . š
Faithfulness to the Small ~ The Lord is faithful to take our pitiful offerings and steps of obedience, blessing us with growth, direction, and His loving Presence. šæ Thereās a lot swirling in my heart and mind, but Iām still prayerfully trying to trust that the Lord is untangling all my knots. Iām hoping to finish cleaning a few things, finish my lessons for our co op, and drink in all the beauty right around me each day. I hoping to resurrect my fledgling poetry writing. So thankful for all the summer bounty, the hard, the beautiful, tangible and intangible, alike.
Prettiest books I was gifted this year! šø
What a bountiful, beautiful summer ~ Till next time, bless you, friends!
I was struck and inspired by these adorable, amazingly crafted childrenās shoes on a flea market date with my hubby. There were teeny nails on the soles. š„¹š„° The craftsmanship was astounding and frankly a bit convicting. Reminds me of the care that the artisans in the Old Testament put into creating the Temple and everything in it!
Hello, Dear Heart š ā„ļøš¤š ~
How are you? The days of advent are winding up to the happiest birthday we could ever wish to celebrate and remember. Come, sweet Jesus, come. Iāve some catching up to do here and prayerfully, I will do that this long weekend. Iāve been thinking about feasting.
ā¢šwhat are you feasting on?š what is feeding you?ā¢
~ā¢How are you doing mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and creatively?ā¢~
I know this is a lot to consider, but more than ever, I feel a pull to receive all that the Lord has for me as a whole person. Our world is so fragmented and fractured. It demands of us a lot of āblack & whiteā type living, choices, āleft or rightā thinking and that is just not human reality. We are a living, breathing human collages, sewn together with so many experiences, pieces, and ephemeral bits. We are intricate masterpieces! Iām asking for clarity from the Lord as I move into this next year about who I am as a daughter of God.
Winter abounds in wonder. Wonder is the dawn, after a snowfall, when the world is quelled by a quiet like no other quiet. When icy mosaics are etched on the panes of the window. When the red bird of winter -hope perched on a bough-shatters the washed-out tableau. Wonder is the soul burrowing into the darkness, kindling the flame deep within.
Barbara Mahany
The Stillness of Winter, p. 8
Iām SO excited about this book as winter tends to be a hard, dry season for me in many ways.
Iām still praying over these areas and trying to focus my heart and mind on gazing fully on Jesus. I want to be wholly His and feasting on His Truth. I love š discovering new ideas and inspiration, so I thought it would be fun to link some things that have recently encouraged me and are feeding me. I donāt necessarily love/agree with everything from all of these creators, but still can pull enough from them to challenge and spur myself on. I will give a brief overview of where I think my own journey is in each of these areas:
Mentally ~
Honestly, Iām still learning about resting in the Lord. Poetry, the Psalms, the Gospels, and instrumental music soundtracks have really helped. Covid era junk, hard relationships, and politics have messed with my anxiety a bit. The winter cold and darkness are difficult for me, but Iāve felt a real inner breakthrough this year. Itās slow and sure. Thanks be to God. Saying ānoā to certain things {regular news and too much social media, for example} and āyesā, to gentle things that are still a bit outside of my comfort zone, have help me think a bit deeper, yet led me away from the sleepless, racing brain. Itās finding the right things to challenge me, yet not contribute to worry or fear.
Iāve felt a bit dry, so praying about some ways to refresh and refocus in the new year. I recently read through The Gospels quickly and was so filled and blessed. One of my winter goals is to read Psalms from the paraphrase, The Message by Eugene Peterson. I find different translations or word studies really help. I hope to look at place names closer in the Bible in 2025, as I love names and the process of naming. Do you have any ideas or things that have helped you with your spiritual life? I really would love to get back to prayer walks and going to nature spots intentionally for focusing on the Lord, but need to get some new snow pants soon. Iām so cold! š {you can call me wimp, itās ok š}
Sophie, our cat, is SUCH a lovely beastieā¦so thankful for her š„¹š ā„ļø
Emotionally ~
This is tied into all of the above and other categories, but honestly, less Instagram, YouTube, Patreon, and newsfeeds has really made a difference for me. I miss some of the lovely people and STUFF I was involved with online {Voxer groups, Booktube, Zoom meetups, Marco Polo etc}, BUT I know that at this time, they got out of control after covid. I felt fractured between all that I have here in my ārealā life and the wonderful, but mistimed relationships online. So much online is fed by FOMO, āthe fear of missing outā, and everything is hyped months in advance. Thatās not bad, necessarily, like Walmart putting up Christmas stuff around Halloween. š³š¤Ŗšš Iām finding however, for my season of life and personality, prolonged exposure to this racing FOMO ruins me.
Things Helping Emotionally ~
Getting into nature! My local friend and I took our kids on some nature rambles this autumn and it was WONDERFUL. We talked books , ideas, and life, while enjoying the outdoors. We have plans for an outing in January.
Journaling to process. Iām finding a small amount goes a long way. Even making lists has really been helpful. Gratitude lists, prayer lists, hardship lists, things Iāve noticed lists, the list š is endless!
Taking long breaks from online things if I catch myself getting stressed or overwhelmed by them. Life is too short for stress from random social media.
Analog recording of life and reading. I still love and enjoy online friendships and especially the friends Iāve made in the reading community, but pulling out of things like Goodreads/Storygraph/ some Booktube has really helped settle my emotions. These things arenāt bad and Iāve enjoyed them in other seasons, but for me, currently, I needed to cut and limit them.
Reading light and fluffy things in-between more challenging reads. I try not to have too heavy a ādietā of marshmallow reading, but at times of extra stress, light reading is helpful.
Physically ~
This is a hard area for me to talk about honestly. Iāve always struggled with my self image, weight, and moderation. Even in highschool when I was an athlete and very āhealthyā on the outside. Ever since Iāve been having babies and been more sedentary, Iāve struggled with my weight. Iāve been on multiple diets, eating plans, exercise regimens, etc, etc, etc. During 2020, I lost a significant amount of weight in a highly structured program {Bright Line Eating} and was in a loving support group with some other strong, Christian women. We are all Charlotte Mason home educators and even met on annual retreats. These women are amazing, loving people! In late 2022/early ā23, I found myself struggling with this and stopping the program. I really havenāt found a balance since then. One interesting thing, though, has been that my sleep has always been touchy and now that Iām not low-carb currently, itās been significantly better. Go figure. Extreme low carb, Iāve been reading about, can mess with sleep. Good sleep is something that heavily contributes to ALL these areas!! All this to say is that, Iāve really been focusing on my internal battles through prayer šš». I feel like thatās something Iāve never fully dealt with, no matter how well I do with the externals. I still am floundering and am not where Iād like to be health-wise. Iām trusting that some of the anxiety, š, self-loathing, and bad cycles are being worked though in a better way. Will you pray for me? Also that I know when enough is enough? Just finding where I need to be with my faith and in my body, for me. Not falling for the cultural definitions of worth, health, or value, but looking at myself through Godās lens. I also feel humbled over and over again. This is a pride area. Unfortunately, one gets a lot of attention and validation when one looks well and āwith itā on the outside, even if Iām a tomb full of dead manās bones on the inside. I want to be wholly Jesusā, inside and out. I want to walk in obedience to His guidance for me.
I donāt have anything currently thatās šÆ percent inspiring me currently right now in this area. I feel a bit fragile and burnt out. I have read a little by Geneen Roth lately and Iām thinking about it. Thanks for sticking with š¤Ŗthat long rant
The kids decorate the tree now. My work is finished. šā„ļøš
Creatively ~
Last but not least, Iām sooooo excited and inspired to find that in some ways, Iām settling into what I love to create and what inspires me in my life. Iām a Gatherer of Fragments. The Recycler of Remnants! I absolutely love things made of pieces. Stained glass, mosaics, collages, poems, ephemera, journals, photographs, and quilts. What do you love? What absolutely inspires you?
The overly simplistic magazine Bella Grace! I just love its sweetness. I got a subscription for Christmas. š„°
The old Disney version of 101 Dalmatians. Rogerās commitment to his music and Cruella is my favorite villain. She shows me what selfishness looks like. She makes me laugh at how odious self-centeredness can become!
The Ben Stiller version of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Soooooo inspiring on SO many levels.
Favorites of mine! ā„ļø my children donāt like the film. š
There is so much to see-things that tell of His love and grace; things that show His Presence;the treasures of His Book. There is no limit to what we shall see except the limit of our own power to see. āOpen Thou mine eyesā is a prayer for us all.
And then listen. There is much to hear. What did God say to me this morning in what I read in His Book, in what I heard from others who love Him, in what I heard deep in my heart, through something He caused me to recall? Whatever it was, let me take time to ācomprehendā it, hold it fast, and live in the light of it to-day.
Amy Carmichael
Edges of His Ways, p. 174
šš„°How about you? How are you doing in these areas? Do you take time to evaluate things? How are you feeding yourself ? ā„ļø
Happy Almost Christmas Weekend! Sooo excited! āØšš
Love š occasionally reading quickly through the Gospels in KJVā¦
I jumped on the shovel edge in my daughterās pastel rainbow crocs. I found myself falling backwards, feet up and over, crocs, scattering. I burst out laughing, after mentally checking my ache-y, forty-something self for injury. I sure hope nobody I know saw me in the front yard of my parentās home. š¤Ŗšš I planted the bulbs with my five year old as he stared at me with wonder. āOk, ok, kid,ā I thought, āitās pretty unusual to see your mother shoveling and sweating, not to mention falling over.ā Ha. š
We just finished this as a read aloud. We all adored it! šÆļøšŖšÆļø
Iāve been thinking about Jesusā parable of the sower {Matthew 13:1-9} in relation to being a mother. Could it be that the enrichment of their soul earth is our primary, creative work? Our magnum opus? Itās sweaty, unseen, thankless soul-shoveling work. We add manure, pull out weeds, we prepare the soil with truth, beauty, and rich, good things. Why? By faith, slowly, we trust that eventually it will be ready to receive the seed of Godās Word.
My daughter made bread and I used up leftover rice for chicken, veggie, rice soupā¦ š„£ ā„ļø
Weaving in and out of this preparation, we grow in our gardening skills ourselves. We limp around on our bruised backsides š, callused palms smarting, and keep strewing bits of life and light. We stretch and use all the God has given us. RMās song āWildflowerā stuck with me deeply after it was first released. He is speaking on his creativity journey, but the idea of growing a lasting, perennial āflowerworkā instead of an instantaneously burnt out flaming firework. The bright and flashy is gone in a second. Long, lasting work takes a kind of death and humilty. Once the seed is tucked into the earth, itās a work of long trust and patience. Motherhood and our creative work both need this mustard-seed faith and fallow season.
āFlower field, thatās where Iām at
Open land thatās where Iām at
No name, thatās what I have
No shame, Iām on my grave.ā
~RM, English translation, Genius.com
The character Isobel in the YA fantasy, An Enchantment of Ravens, found out through her painting, the stark emptiness and abject horror of immortality. Itās not glamorous to work, live, grow old, and die while serving, creating, and loving, but itās human. The created of a Creator creates. That makes it enough. Itās prayer and worship. Thankfulness by fullness of being. So much around us is so empty and vacuous. Without true meaning. A life of meaning means toil, back breaking, long-haul work with faith.
āI ask where you could be right now
Where you go, whereās your soul
Yo, whereās your dream?ā
~ RM
Four years of reading journals! Blue sparrow one is my new oneā¦ ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøI left Goodreads and have loved this tactile way of creatively engaging with my reading.
So, where do our dreams go? They are still right here. Transformed into something human AND Spirit-powered. They may change form, a weaving in and out all that we are doing. Seasons of our servanthood with the gifts weāve been given promise new morning mercies. Just as I can surely count on the perennial return of my momās tulips and daffodils, I can trust this slow, quiet blooming process is working in my children and in me, too. Thanks be to God.
Sweet, dirty little feetā¦ššš
How about you? How do you view relationships and creativity? How are you cultivating a culture of creative work while maintaining closeness and connections to your faith, family, and friends? Iād love to hear any thoughts! Iām still trying to flesh out what this all meansā¦
Hello, my old friends, Iāve {finally} come to talk with you all again! šš¤
These last few weeks have been a mash up of glorious warm, leaf crunching, rattle-and-rolling weather with a side of gorgeous rain. November is definitely here in all her glory. The clouds and sky have been spectacular!
Iāve been hunkered down a bit with family, homeschool, and church responsibilities, so my online fun š has had to be kept to a minimum. Iāve still been reading, and itās been a lovely respite to our full and busy days. A few of our outside responsibilities are lighter during the last part of November and December so that will be nice to catch my breath.
Half a moon! š
Iāve been struggling a bit to get the jumble up here *taps brain* to down here *taps blank page* and all Iāve got is my āword saladsā as I call them. Iāve been dumping impressions, ideas, words, whatās going on in the moment, etc etc etc into my ādump/emptyā brain journal. Itās kinda all I got currently. I see a few phrases in these riots of ramblings that I might want to use/explore later so itās a start, right?! Ray Bradbury loved his lists and worked on stories from them YEARS later. Iām counting on this Bradbury Magic to transfer to me. š Of course, Mr. Bradbury wrote a 1,000 + words everyday no matter what. āŗļøšš„°
Iāve been thinking a lot about mirrors after revisiting The Mirror Visitor Series, how Ophelia can only travel through them when she sees her true self in the mirror, no disguises or wishing for something different. Itās been tying into the opening chapters of my reread of A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine LāEngle. Sheās speaking on creativity/writing here:
If I thought I had to say it better than anybody else, Iād never start. Better or worse is immaterial. The thing is that it has to be said; by me, ontologically. We each have to say it, to say it our own way. Not of our own will, but as it comes out through us. Good or bad, great or little: that isnāt what human creation is about. It is that we have to try; to put it down in pigment, or words, or musical notations, or we die. ~ LāEngle, p. 28, A Circle of Quiet
Commonplace journal. š A beautiful, new-to-me, song! Sophie š„°š„°š„°
How ābout you? How are you doing? Any creative threads to follow lately? Iāll leave with a few more photos and a wish and prayer that your week is full of true Joy no matter our circumstances. ā„ļøš¤ā„ļø
Somehow Iāve lost my way with writing (and in general, creativity). Words and the authors (all artists, really) behind the ink have watered my soul in ways I canāt even begin to express. I want to find my way back to putting pen to paper, expressing memories, emotion, ideas, and ultimately, hope.
Iām starting by finding a few things to spur me on, but really just writing down anything each day. You start by doing. You continue by consistency. It can be randomness, but itās out of my brain and itās concrete.
Collage is probably the best way of describing the way I want to write and create. A simmering ephemera soup of colors, ideas, and encouragement. Incidentally, I also make collage art. Iāve just started doing it a bit more consistently. I recently realized that Iāve always collaged in some way, through scrapbooking, junk journaling, quilting, collecting words, and a little bit through photography, too.
How ābout you? Are there creative areas you want to resurrect in your life? Have you considered how different seasons of life, and circumstances (for me, covid, years of all little kids, distracting social media, health challenges) have made it difficult, but not impossible to come back to these areas.
I canāt tell you how much my Daily Pocket Moleskine had meant to me this year! Just a teeny place to record my to dos for the day, do a little creativity, and store lots of memories! Iām really stretching the binding, but Iām soooo happy with its bursting self! I donāt love Monday start calendars, so thatās the only downside. Iām planning on getting the red one for 2025!
This cartoon has been keeping me sane lately! š„°ā„ļøšššæ We are just passing through, friends, and itās a painful and glorious journey, but precious Jesus is with us every step of the way. ~
{Happy February! February brings my third annual participation in the World Peace Poets Postcard Fest and I hope to share some poems here, too!}šššā„ļøššā„ļøššš
||filtered light through shower curtain, drips trickle off silver-y, soap-scummed faucetā¦Irish Spring Soap scent, sniffing out a 32 year old memory of Grandma Fritz, her chunky, pink bubble-shaped bubble bath bottle, her chain plug, while all the dregs drain downā¦salty tears mixed with mineral-laden water in need of salt to soften. Hey, Iām a cheap water softener, if only my tears could be useful in that wayā¦stretch marks, stretched-taut strength, silent screams through the warm rain. Hair plastered close, veil washed over my racing thoughtsā¦sore nose bridge, loose glasses, may I be able to see pass this all? Purple, frayed, musty towel waiting, dirty feet bottoms planted in the swirling soap suds. Rubber duckies, colorful boat, army man with one leg, Dove Daily Moisture Shampoo, please bring me an olive branch of peace and hope. Hot water sears eczema, coconut oil slathering ahead, healing really does hurt. Worry-disease drained away for the moment, deep breath, steam in, selfishness and stress out. Water pounding massage, life paused in curtained, watery world away from the āon-nessā of it all, soulās dirty roots deeply watered for another day. Size 12, barely buttoned, unzipped heart, out of chest, maybe hot water therapy will help this heavy-heart, too? Scrub this heart anew.
|| endless clouds extend to the horizon line. slate grey, white tuffed, take-deep-breath marshmallows , chewy goodness. softness, a gentling, sunsplit glints of gold, the dresden of heavenās hutch. clouds come down, bringing middle earth to midwest. pillows, puffs, earth and sky gooey sāmore center, coolness, and shade. buckets of liquid love dipped and poured over earthās open and waiting hands. what would i be without clouds? iām not talking about the science behind the loss of clouds, iām talking about fluff-on-the-wind deep soul loss. the loss of the wisp and whisper drawing our hearts and our eyes upward. clouds crowd the crevices of my heart and i want to be forever enveloped in a squishy embrace. bright white, somber grey, i take this popcorn of the sky, salted, anyway. a true friend to sail away on, summer shape finding, a friend to count on hovering close by. a field of fluff for soul and spirit encouragement harvesting. a bit of white lace for earthās blue and green dress. freshness, light, loveā¦clouds. ||
A.M. Pine - Hearth Ridge Reflections 