I sometimes think the worst thing a young person can feel is when you can find no answer to the question of what you are supposed to do with this life you’ve been given. At moments you’re aware of it balanced on your tongue, but not what comes next. Something like that. I can now say that another version of that happens in old age, when it occurs to you that since you’ve lived this long you must have learned something, so you open your eyes before dawn and think: What is it that I’ve learned, what is it I want to say?
…let your compassion come to us quickly, for we have become very weak.
Excerpt from Psalm 79:8, CSB
Sunday evening bonfires…
I love finding random journaling prompts on Pinterest and really enjoy looking back at lists I’ve made!
Currently: 🍂
Reading…
My main focus this month is dipping into my massive stack of Victorian literature (one Victorian inspired in that stack!)for an online event called Victober! Community reading of literature published in the UK during Queen Victoria’s reign {1837-1901}. I set aside many other things to be apart of this lovely reading focus. It’s honestly become a highlight of my year for the last few years! I’m reading poetry from Tennyson, Emily Bronte, Oscar Wilde, and George MacDonald. I’ve dipped into Queen Victoria’s childhood diaries a teeny bit, too. I’m slowly rereading Our Mutual Friend. My favorites have been the drama in Charlotte Mary Yonge’s The Three Brides (Kindle) about three newlywed SIL’s thrown together under their new invalid widowed MIL, Shirley by Charlotte Bronte, and Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy with the audiobook read by Alan Rickman.
I’m supposed to be reading Niall Williams’ This Is Happiness with my IRL friends, but got distracted by the Victorians! 🤣
I’m also dipping into various things for study and to keep up the homeschooling co op classes I’m facilitating, mom’s group, a writing commitment and our own homeschool. The opening chapter of The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis was fascinating and so lovely.
A little book haul from a HUGE, fabulous used bookstore that I had only 30 minutes to peruse. 😉
Watching…
I’m on a bit of a social media purge so missing my Booktube watching, 🤣 but I did watch“Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone” with two of my older kids. It’s the only one of the movies I truly love.
Playing…
I honestly love my journaling. They bring me SO much joy. 🤩
Trying…
I’m ‘trying’ to find balance?! with all our outside activities, homeschooling, cultivation of relationships, and taking care of myself. It’s not working well 😅🥲, but one has to have something to keep aiming for even if they miss continually. 🙃
Nature walk to examine a “shaggy bark” hickory tree. ♥️
Looking forward to…
Continuing Victober and hopefully watching the BBC miniseries of “Our Mutual Friend” this month?! and next probably. It’s long!
Dreading…
Hmmm, deadlines are necessary evils, but they can be stressful for me. Leadership is stretching for me. Unfinished household projects. The great clothing change-out. The usual. 😅
Obsessing Over…
All things Victorian! I made these recently! It was difficult, but so fun! I’ve loved noticing one of my favorite autumn things…glancing in the rear view mirror and seeing the leaves swirl up, dance, come ‘alive’!
Learning…
So much through facilitating our co op highschoolers through The Divine Comedy and realizing that worry can be pride, I’m saying I know more than God. 😬🫣😅🙏🏻
Drinking…
I’ve been making half pumpkin spice flavored coffee with regular dark blend and it’s so great! I drink it black and it’s just a hint of pumpkin flavor. I don’t loooove flavored coffees, but this is gooood. 🎃
Loving…
My hubby and I took a 4 day trip north in celebration of our 23rd anniversary which was in September. We enjoyed history and nature together!
Hating (or rather Broken Up About)…
All the relational tensions, loved ones going through illnesses, marital pain, financial stress and just the general feeling of the absence of love 💕 permeating the air. 😞🙏🏻♥️Oh, Lord, come!
I love Hawk Weed?! 🧡🧡🧡
Starting…
Revamping my prayer time again! Needed something fresh! Journaling and alternating spots I’m reading in the Bible. Old Testament, New Testament, and Psalms. Currently added a Proverbs of the Day! Love finding the one that matches the day of the month! ❤️🙏🏻
Thinking…
About our life’s work?! and about the resurrection of my poetry scribblings and collage art, what I need to sacrifice to make it happen. Thinking about the movie “ Dead Poets Society”, which I watched for the first time a couple months ago. 🥲
Feeling…
Not sure. 🤔 Overwhelmed a bit 😵💫😉😬😅, but also inspired by the gorgeous autumn weather and all the lovely knowledge and life ripe for the picking. It’s right here for the taking.☺️♥️
Praying for…
My heart to be knit closer than ever to my Jesus and a listening heart to be wide open for others and for all the beauty here and now in this moment. For all the suffering near to me and far from me. 😞♥️🙏🏻
How about you? What’s currently beating in your heart? Let me know your answers to these! ♥️🍂Happiest October! 🎃 🦇 🕷️ 🕸️ 🍁
It’s a strange feeling to be glad for their wings, but sad that my older children’s faces aren’t peering at me as I read aloud. Bittersweet. Three down, four to savor! 🥲
Our year has begun well, kind of on “a wing and a prayer sort of way”, but with a gentle hopefulness.🌾
I think one of our favorite moments so far have been continuing a reread through the Little House Series (we are waiting on the audiobook for These Happy Golden Years), puzzles, and traveling to the site of Little House in the Big Woods for a Laura Ingalls Wilder Festival. A bit touristy, but lovely all the same. Now we’ve been getting into the tv series from the public library and it’s bringing back my childhood nostalgia of rushing home from my little private school for an episode with snack. 🥹♥️
My 4 remaining students…
We’ve also enjoyed jumping into our Charlotte Mason co op with both feet and just soaking in all the riches the other mothers have prepared for us! Shakespeare (King Henry V), folk song/hymn, Composer (John Williams!), Picture Study (Camille Pissarro!), Clay Modeling, Swedish Drill, Microbiology, and my favorite, Nature Study (we are using a lovely book called Sundial on the Seasons by Hal Borland). I’m helping with Highschool Literature (The Divine Comedy! – stretching me, let me tell you!), Poetry (Alfred Lord Tennyson), and the younger students Geography co leading with another mom.
What richness! What a gift!
Our Nature Study mom recommended this book! Camille and Sophie 🐈Puzzles and audiobooks! Swoon. So much beauty all around us! 🤎
My personal goals and projects were going SO well in June & July, but I fell off the habit wagon 😅 in August after SO many family things. I’m struggling to keep up on health, writing, pen pals, crafting goals & stuff. Anyone else? I have some outside obligations that I’m prioritizing (maybe TOO many?) and I’m struggling with very little mojo to keep up my personal things. I end up reading 📖 😅ALOT and watching people talk about reading. 🙃I ❤️🔥 Booktube! Any help on how to tackle getting back into these life giving things WHILE homeschooling? 🤪🫣😵💫😍
We’ve been doing a lot of nature hikes and they are SO wonderful! We will switch more to library visits when the cold hits. I really want to try more cold weather jaunts this year because I have no little babies anymore. 😆♥️Interesting economics book I previewed!
What did you love about your toe-dipping into the ‘25-‘26 home educational year? We have sooo many lovely books and things on the docket and I’m struck by the immense blessings at me and my children’s fingertips. Who knows what will be in all the pages, behind the door to the natural world, and in the relationships we will form? ❤️🔥🌿I wait prayerfully and with great anticipation. ♥️🌿
Do you ever feel stuck? I was recently struck by how stuck I am, this overwhelming sense of not living in the joy and resurrection power of the Lord Jesus. I was actually listening to an audiobook, about the fictional and unflappable Mrs. Pollifax. In the first of this novel series, the widowed, aging Mrs. Pollifax, questions her worth and what she is doing with her life. Her solution is to go and do something she has always been interested in. Join the CIA! 😂 I was struck to the quick about my wallowing, woe-is-me attitudes. Where is the resurrection power being lived out in me? Why am I hiding? Why am I cowering? Worrying? Trying to control my circumstances?
His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 Peter 1:3, CSB
These verses in 2 Peter and Wendell Berry’s poem Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front, challenges me to live fully and wholly. To live like there is something beyond myself and my woes. 🪴🪴🪴
So, friends, every day do something that won’t compute. Love the Lord. Love the world. Work for nothing. Take all that you have and be poor. Love somebody who does not deserve it.
-Wendell Berry 🌿
I don’t want to be worry-driven, short-fused, and impatient. I want to ‘dwell in possibility’, living simply, patiently with others, myself, and the Lord. I want to rest in my daily ‘round and find my delight again in listening, learning, deeply loving. No need for fretting, guilty-thought trains, or shoulda-woulda-coulda junk. Pay attention. Walk and work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Live with an ‘expectant attention’ (mishmash from Charlotte Mason, Amy Carmichael, and Scripture) and practice living resurrection.
~first time making hot cross buns in honor of Good Friday~
A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.
John 10:10 CSB 🌷
Ask questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
~Wendell Berry ☕️
Laughter is immeasurable.Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
~Wendell Berry 🪺
Take the first step, Oh my soul…♥️🌿
I’m determined in my heart 💜 to choose again (and again and again) Jesus’ joy and resurrection power. Just making conscious choices that I know help me pay attention and relax into the Lord. Prioritizing my quiet time. Going outside. Holding online things very lightly, getting dressed in comfortable clothing I love, doing a little summer mom learning project with a IRL friend, taking good care of myself and my family, finishing little projects I love, and doing small, short trips. Not giving into overconsumption in any area of my life – frantic reading, buying random stuff, food, media, but a soaking in the Life-Giving Abundance of Jesus!
You reveal the path of life to me; in your presence is abundant joy; at your right hand are eternal pleasures.
I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches from secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD. I am the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.
Isaiah 45:3, CSB
And as they sang, the fear and the suffering of the long winter seemed to rise like a dark cloud and float away on the music. Spring had come. The sun was shining warm, the winds soft, and the green grass growing.
Laura Ingalls Wilder, The Long Winter
Shadows and coolness, Lord,
Art Thou to me;
Cloud of my soul, lead on,
I follow Thee.
What though the hot winds blow,
Fierce heat beats up below?
Fountains of water flow-
Praise, praise to Thee.
Clearness and glory, Lord,
Art Thou to me;
Light of my soul, lead on,
I follow Thee.
All through the moonless night,
Making its darkness bright,
Thou Art my Heavenly Light-
Praise, praise to Thee.
Shadow and shine art Thou,
Dear Lord, to me;
Pillar of cloud and fire,
I follow Thee.
What though the way is long,
In Thee my heart is strong,
Thou art my joy, my song –
Praise, praise to Thee.
Amy Carmichael, Edges of His Ways
I’ve been thinking about shadows. Without the darkness of life, how can we see the light? It’s easy to forget my deep need of Jesus when things are smooth and relatively calm. I love strolling under cloud shadows and how they seemingly race across the road. The sun bursts out eventually, drenching all that was dim for a moment. I want to remember that even though my back is bent with my burdens, He is there with me, His presence making them light. How are you today? Weary and heavy-laden? Under dark shadows of life? He has given us His divine power for everything pertaining to life and godliness. The Light flickers and flares in the shadows. ♥️🌿
dense shadows blindfolding dark drinks hope strike match flicker of faithlight look straight into the eyes of Shadow arrow of The Light slices through
If the old earth could wash herself and begin again so often and so humbly, why could not a man do the same?
A City of Bells, Elizabeth Goudge
What are motherhood, art, our very life but second chances, beginning again, over and over? ‘Second-chance’ is a term that the book industry labels romances that have the same couple making another attempt at a relationship. This is a very narrow definition. We take second-go-arounds at multiple things DAILY. Our faith walk, being kind, loving on those tough to love, and asking forgiveness over and over again. There are so many wonderful stories and art that when you dig deep, focus on a chance to begin again. I want to focus my attention on a few of these with an expectant heart for what truth the Lord wants to show me. I’m not sure how this will play out as I have so much swirling in my heart. A couple of stories that really jump out to me are Marilla, Matthew, and Anne’s from Anne of Green Gables, Valency from The Blue Castle, Jocelyn from A City of Bells, and Mary from The Scent of Water. All these people have been given a chance to start again or at least begin to truly live. I actually made a huge list of stories from books and films that mean a do-over and fresh mercies to me. I was so surprised by how many of my favorites fall into that category!
2nd ~
my hundredth and one second chance, leaves curl into bud faithfully once again
I’m excited to start a new little ‘something something’ here. Just as we celebrate National Poetry Month, Letter Writing Month, (thanks for telling me, Kim!), Easter, and soak in the earth coming alive. A month to celebrate newness, resurrection, and the wheel of seasons turning again. I have a few things I’m simmering, so I hope you are as encouraged and inspired as I am about a freshness blowing through the windows…
How ‘bout you? Anything brewing in your heart? 🌿🌷✨
{thus ends my 4th annual participation in the Peace Poem project ~ I ended up writing a few poems I liked and just sending the same poems to multiple people on my list. I did send out a total 28 postcards poems for February! I really do love this project, even if I do it with my own twist and timeline}
I’ve really been leaning into my phrase ‘expectant attention’ during this beginning space of the year. How are you doing? I’ve been soooo enjoying trying new reads, mainly from the library, on my Kindle especially, and pulling a few things off my shelves. I have finished a few Winter ❄️ list items, but I’m not stressing it. The reality of the online book world is that it’s easy to rush or feel F.O.M.O. and it’s so refreshing to buck all trends, lists, etc UNLESS these things are bringing me joy. The truth is *whispers* that most of this isn’t that important in the grand scheme of life. I can let it go at any time and pick it up again.
My new spiritual journal. It was a bit pricey, (Take a Note Brand) BUT I’m excited to change up the way I process my prayer/Bible/spiritual journey. This journal is much more structured than what I’ve used in the past! I LOVE the horizontal, two-page, one week lay out.
I got my journal a bit later in January, so my opening pages are a bit empty, but it was so fun to put in a few things the Lord has been showing me through all the inspiration I’ve been seeing and trying to deeply pay attention to!
I also began my 2025 Daily Pocket Moleskine! Sigh. It brings me so much joy. ♥️❄️☕️🥰 Not pictured is my reading journal which I adore scribbling and glueing in! Books stacks everywhere are getting a bit of a pruning today, but I’m so grateful for my stuffed home library and my public library. I’ve been freely quitting books that aren’t for me, EXCEPT my poetry selections and spiritual devotions. I definitely put more effort into those. Here are a few snaps of bookish loveliness. 🥰♥️
Trying these out…These are formulaic and predictable. 😆 But I love the domestic coziness. The female characters are sweet and helpless. The love interests are a bit insufferable 😬😂, but I enjoy them occasionally. They are squeaky ‘clean’, too. Do you have any reads like this? More try-a-chapter stacks…
That’s all, folks. 😅♥️ I’ve been just plugging along at all our homeschool responsibilities and trying to keep ahead of dishes and keep enough food on the table for these giant kids (read: mainly the 19 & 17 yo boys 🤣)!! I have some writing due soon and poems for my February poem postcard challenge. It’s freakishly cold 🥶 here and yet, I’m doing ok. God is faithful to send us little flashes of beauty and wonder in the midst of the mundanity. ♥️🥰
Light reflected✨
How are you? Reading or creating anything? Anything specific bringing you joy? 🥰 Bless each and every one of you. Happy Saturday! ♥️☕️📬💌📚✒️📝♥️❄️✨
Happy First Monday in January, friends! 🌲❄️ A bit of a ‘what’s-on-my-heart-currently-collage”…
…There is a Tenant here.
Come home, roamer of earth, to this room and find
a timeless Heart under your own heart beating,
a Bird of beauty singing under your mind.
~excerpt from ‘The Kingdom of God’ by Jessica Powers~
I’ve been thinking a lot about the character Kel in the Protector of the Small series by Tamora Pierce. I really like how fiercely tenacious, loyal, and single-minded she is! It made me think of this clip of my favorite K-pop star. It is insane how hard he throws himself into this dance. How am I living out my life and my faith? Am I fierce, tenacious, loyal, insanely hard-working towards all the Lord Jesus is whispering to me? I realize that these art forms are fictional and unrealistic, but they inspire me deeply! And that makes them real to me. How ‘bout you? What’s jumping out to you?
A beautiful, rich song from Josh Garrel’s album Home for you as you start a new week and for those of you back-to-{home}-school moms out there! This is why we sow and invest!
Words I loved in 1 Chronicles ~ sing, proclaim, declare, thank, testify, boast, remember, ascribe, save, gather, rescue, humble, strong, courageous, willingly, undivided, keep, carry out ~
I’m slowly starting to work on poems for my annual joining of the Peace Poem Project. (There’s still time to sign up! worldpeacepoets@gmail.com ~ you mail out a poem on a postcard throughout February) I’ve started So Big Edna Ferber with 3 buddy reading friends! It’s beautiful so far! I’m also 3/4ths my way through The Goblin Emperor. It’s a very interesting fantasy so far, so slow and full of cozy details. I’m going to be limiting social media, in the hopes for beautiful boredom and a quiet mind to settle down over me, mantle-like.
When you pay attention to boredom it gets unbelievably interesting. – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Feeding my body as well as my heart & soul…☀️
I’ll leave you with this quote of gorgeousness and a poem…
I have been finding new comfort in the two words, which are used by each of the four evangelists in telling the end of the story of the feeding of the Five Thousand. They speak of “broken pieces”, and the same words are used by two in telling of the later miracle. There was nothing over but broken pieces, and yet of those fragments our Lord said, Gather them up that nothing be lost. Even so, our dear Lord cares for the broken pieces of our lives, the fragments of all we meant to do, the little that we have to gather up and offer, and He will use even these fragments. He will not let even the least of our little broken things be lost.
Amy Carmichael, p. 177, Edges of His Ways, emphasis mine
A.M. Pine - Hearth Ridge Reflections 