Category: Journals

Hello, Dear Heart 💜 ♥️🖤💗 ~

How are you? The days of advent are winding up to the happiest birthday we could ever wish to celebrate and remember. Come, sweet Jesus, come. I’ve some catching up to do here and prayerfully, I will do that this long weekend. I’ve been thinking about feasting.

•💘what are you feasting on?💘 what is feeding you?•

~•How are you doing mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and creatively?•~

I know this is a lot to consider, but more than ever, I feel a pull to receive all that the Lord has for me as a whole person. Our world is so fragmented and fractured. It demands of us a lot of ‘black & white’ type living, choices, ‘left or right’ thinking and that is just not human reality. We are a living, breathing human collages, sewn together with so many experiences, pieces, and ephemeral bits. We are intricate masterpieces! I’m asking for clarity from the Lord as I move into this next year about who I am as a daughter of God.

Winter abounds in wonder. Wonder is the dawn, after a snowfall, when the world is quelled by a quiet like no other quiet. When icy mosaics are etched on the panes of the window. When the red bird of winter -hope perched on a bough-shatters the washed-out tableau. Wonder is the soul burrowing into the darkness, kindling the flame deep within.

Barbara Mahany

The Stillness of Winter, p. 8

I’m still praying over these areas and trying to focus my heart and mind on gazing fully on Jesus. I want to be wholly His and feasting on His Truth. I love 💕 discovering new ideas and inspiration, so I thought it would be fun to link some things that have recently encouraged me and are feeding me. I don’t necessarily love/agree with everything from all of these creators, but still can pull enough from them to challenge and spur myself on. I will give a brief overview of where I think my own journey is in each of these areas:

Mentally ~

Honestly, I’m still learning about resting in the Lord. Poetry, the Psalms, the Gospels, and instrumental music soundtracks have really helped. Covid era junk, hard relationships, and politics have messed with my anxiety a bit. The winter cold and darkness are difficult for me, but I’ve felt a real inner breakthrough this year. It’s slow and sure. Thanks be to God. Saying ‘no’ to certain things {regular news and too much social media, for example} and ‘yes’, to gentle things that are still a bit outside of my comfort zone, have help me think a bit deeper, yet led me away from the sleepless, racing brain. It’s finding the right things to challenge me, yet not contribute to worry or fear.

Booktubers That Make Me Think Deeper

1. ARRRG! Schooling
2. Books Love Jenna
3. Christy Luis

Spiritually ~

I’ve felt a bit dry, so praying about some ways to refresh and refocus in the new year. I recently read through The Gospels quickly and was so filled and blessed. One of my winter goals is to read Psalms from the paraphrase, The Message by Eugene Peterson. I find different translations or word studies really help. I hope to look at place names closer in the Bible in 2025, as I love names and the process of naming. Do you have any ideas or things that have helped you with your spiritual life? I really would love to get back to prayer walks and going to nature spots intentionally for focusing on the Lord, but need to get some new snow pants soon. I’m so cold! 😅 {you can call me wimp, it’s ok 😂}

Things That Recently Spiritually Spoke to Me

1. Nancy Kelly’s Talk on Prayer
2. The writing of Barbara Mahany
3. Thinking on this poem

Emotionally ~

This is tied into all of the above and other categories, but honestly, less Instagram, YouTube, Patreon, and newsfeeds has really made a difference for me. I miss some of the lovely people and STUFF I was involved with online {Voxer groups, Booktube, Zoom meetups, Marco Polo etc}, BUT I know that at this time, they got out of control after covid. I felt fractured between all that I have here in my ‘real’ life and the wonderful, but mistimed relationships online. So much online is fed by FOMO, “the fear of missing out”, and everything is hyped months in advance. That’s not bad, necessarily, like Walmart putting up Christmas stuff around Halloween. 😳🤪😏😒 I’m finding however, for my season of life and personality, prolonged exposure to this racing FOMO ruins me.

Things Helping Emotionally ~

1. Getting into nature! My local friend and I took our kids on some nature rambles this autumn and it was WONDERFUL. We talked books , ideas, and life, while enjoying the outdoors. We have plans for an outing in January.
2. Journaling to process. I’m finding a small amount goes a long way. Even making lists has really been helpful. Gratitude lists, prayer lists, hardship lists, things I’ve noticed lists, the list 😏 is endless!
3. Taking long breaks from online things if I catch myself getting stressed or overwhelmed by them. Life is too short for stress from random social media.
4. Analog recording of life and reading. I still love and enjoy online friendships and especially the friends I’ve made in the reading community, but pulling out of things like Goodreads/Storygraph/ some Booktube has really helped settle my emotions. These things aren’t bad and I’ve enjoyed them in other seasons, but for me, currently, I needed to cut and limit them.
5. Reading light and fluffy things in-between more challenging reads. I try not to have too heavy a ‘diet’ of marshmallow reading, but at times of extra stress, light reading is helpful.

Physically ~

This is a hard area for me to talk about honestly. I’ve always struggled with my self image, weight, and moderation. Even in highschool when I was an athlete and very ‘healthy’ on the outside. Ever since I’ve been having babies and been more sedentary, I’ve struggled with my weight. I’ve been on multiple diets, eating plans, exercise regimens, etc, etc, etc. During 2020, I lost a significant amount of weight in a highly structured program {Bright Line Eating} and was in a loving support group with some other strong, Christian women. We are all Charlotte Mason home educators and even met on annual retreats. These women are amazing, loving people! In late 2022/early ‘23, I found myself struggling with this and stopping the program. I really haven’t found a balance since then. One interesting thing, though, has been that my sleep has always been touchy and now that I’m not low-carb currently, it’s been significantly better. Go figure. Extreme low carb, I’ve been reading about, can mess with sleep. Good sleep is something that heavily contributes to ALL these areas!! All this to say is that, I’ve really been focusing on my internal battles through prayer 🙏🏻. I feel like that’s something I’ve never fully dealt with, no matter how well I do with the externals. I still am floundering and am not where I’d like to be health-wise. I’m trusting that some of the anxiety, 😟, self-loathing, and bad cycles are being worked though in a better way. Will you pray for me? Also that I know when enough is enough? Just finding where I need to be with my faith and in my body, for me. Not falling for the cultural definitions of worth, health, or value, but looking at myself through God’s lens. I also feel humbled over and over again. This is a pride area. Unfortunately, one gets a lot of attention and validation when one looks well and “with it” on the outside, even if I’m a tomb full of dead man’s bones on the inside. I want to be wholly Jesus’, inside and out. I want to walk in obedience to His guidance for me.

I don’t have anything currently that’s 💯 percent inspiring me currently right now in this area. I feel a bit fragile and burnt out. I have read a little by Geneen Roth lately and I’m thinking about it. Thanks for sticking with 🤪that long rant

Creatively ~

Last but not least, I’m sooooo excited and inspired to find that in some ways, I’m settling into what I love to create and what inspires me in my life. I’m a Gatherer of Fragments. The Recycler of Remnants! I absolutely love things made of pieces. Stained glass, mosaics, collages, poems, ephemera, journals, photographs, and quilts. What do you love? What absolutely inspires you?

Things Inspiring me Creatively Currently

1. Chantel Klassen
2. CleoPatrick
3. Kiki’s Bookish Service
4. Austin Kleon’s weekly newsletter
5. My Kindle, reading everywhere using the app
6. The overly simplistic magazine Bella Grace! I just love its sweetness. I got a subscription for Christmas. 🥰
7. The old Disney version of 101 Dalmatians. Roger’s commitment to his music and Cruella is my favorite villain. She shows me what selfishness looks like. She makes me laugh at how odious self-centeredness can become!
8. The Ben Stiller version of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Soooooo inspiring on SO many levels.
9. Long form blogging. Slower media. Like this lovely, long, leisure Cinderella retelling. Trying to avoid shorts and reels, somewhat unsuccessfully! 🤪😂♥️

There is so much to see-things that tell of His love and grace; things that show His Presence;the treasures of His Book. There is no limit to what we shall see except the limit of our own power to see. “Open Thou mine eyes” is a prayer for us all.

And then listen. There is much to hear. What did God say to me this morning in what I read in His Book, in what I heard from others who love Him, in what I heard deep in my heart, through something He caused me to recall? Whatever it was, let me take time to “comprehend” it, hold it fast, and live in the light of it to-day.

Amy Carmichael

Edges of His Ways, p. 174

💗🥰How about you? How are you doing in these areas? Do you take time to evaluate things? How are you feeding yourself ? ♥️

Happy Almost Christmas Weekend! Sooo excited! ✨🎄💗