But two ways are offered to our will – Toil with rare triumph, Ease with safe disgrace: – Nor deem that acts heroic wait on chance! The man’s whole life precludes the single deed That shall decide if his inheritance Be with the sifted few of matchless breed, Or with the unmotivated herd that only sleep and feed.
~ Lowell, p.36, The Cloud of Witness, emphasis mine
The Four Seasons of Mary Azarian, by Lilias Macbean Hart, illustrated by Mary Azarian {previously published post from December 2019}
Continuing my Advent musings with Azarian and The Cloud of Witness…
Earth breaks up, time drops away,
In flows heaven with its new day
Of endless life, when He who trod,
Very Man and very God,
This earth in weakness, shame
and pain,
Dying the death whose signs
remain
Up yonder on the accursed tree, –
Shall come again, no more to be
Of captivity the thrall,
But the one God, All in All,
King of Kings and Lord of lords:
As His servant John received the words,
“I died, and live for evermore.”
~ Browning, p. 9
The Cloud of Witness
Hello Fellow Wordweavers, Dreamers, and Beauty Chasers ~ isn’t this time of year enchanting? I’m especially in awe of seeing it through my children’s eyes. It’s taken me a long while to just take these simple moments, minute by minute and see them for the gift they are! I’ve been dipping into Robert MacFarlane’s Landmarks again and just recently fell under the spell 😉 of The Lost Spells, oh my, I may be getting this in my stocking as a gift from myself to myself. How has your Advent season started? Hopefully, it’s calm & bright in the deepest part of your soul, despite the external craziness this time of year can bring. Happiest Advent to you!
I’m Thinking… how odd it feels to be fighting staying present, yet excited about the new year and its dreams, plans, and ideas. There’s just something about a fresh, crisp journal waiting to be cracked open and ink-stained, is there not?!
I’m Thankful For… the grace and space my hubby and children grant me for my weirdness and dreaming.
One of My Favorite Things… the magical half light between dawn and the remnants of dreams – that half dream state of thought, ideas, and creation sprinkled over reality. It’s elusive, but often comes when soaking in The Word {Holy Bible}, the great words of writers & poets down through the ages, glorious art, and music.
I’m Wearing… a favorite grey pullover with a cowl-like neck a lot recently. Jeans, tshirts, and big thick socks. It’s snuggly season.
I’m Watching… Leslie Austen’s peaceful vlogs and old Antiques Roadshow episodes on YouTube. I’m loving Chantel’s bookish vlogmas.
I’m Reading… in a bit of a slump after finishing Laurie R. King’s first in a Sherlock Holmes reimagining, The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, which I throughly enjoyed. Thankfully, there are like 18? 😍 books in this series. Hopefully, they will be as good as the first. I also am hoping for a bit of a Jonathan Stroud binge, as I read one of his Lockwood & Co. YA books and really enjoyed it.
I’m Listening… to a lot of instrumental Christmas music, Brandon Sanderson & Dan Wells podcast, Roberta Flack’s Killing Me Softly, and I was so enchanted by this talk on Narnia, etc out of Oxford.
I’m Hoping… to continue our quiet Advent readings and keeping things relatively calm so as to truly enjoy celebrating Christmastime. 🎄🎄🎄
I’m Learning…in giving away, we multiply.
In the Homeschool Room… we are enjoying our Advent and Christmas readings, but just continuing all our great books, at a leisurely pace. We loved making paper bag stars this week and hope to do more soon. We made ours each with 9 lunch bags and hot glue, such a huge, beautiful visual delight.
Shared Quote…
“Always clamoring to know, we are ever inconstant. The soul is constant only to this unknowing which keeps her pursuing.”
Meister Eckhart
The Four Seasons of Mary Azarian, by Lilias Macbean Hart, illustrated by Mary Azarian.
It may be in the evening,
When the work of the day is done,
And you have time to sit in the twilight,
And watch the sinking sun,
While the long bright day dies slowly
Over the sea,
And the hour grows quiet and holy
With thoughts of ME:
While you hear the village children
passing along the street –
Among those thronging footsteps
May come the sound of my feet
Therefore I tell you, Watch!
By the light of the evening star
When the moon is growing dusky
As the clouds afar,
Let the door be on the latch
In your home,
For it may be through the gloaming
I will come.
~B.M. , p. 4
{Join me this month in quiet contemplation and prayer on our Savior’s coming…}
Hello, Friends ~ I have books on the brain after watching some of Miranda’s lovely YouTube vlogs yesterday! These are my choices for this year along with a lovely, gigantic pile of Christmas picture books. I’m not letting my children start looking at them till November 28th 🙃😅 when Advent officially starts. Anticipation & expectation. Are you doing anything special to mark the Advent season? Meanwhile, for those of you that celebrate, Happiest American Thanksgiving 🦃🍂🍁 to you!
Love, Amy ♥️
I read somewhere once that we write so we won’t forget. I recently joined a memoir writing class at a local library and you know, it has me digging deep into the recesses of my foggy memory for life experiences. It’s hard. Scraps of life jump out to me, childhood games of pretend, forcing my sister to eat grass because we were rabbits. An award ceremony, the cold, hard delight of that basketball trophy gripped in my hand. My grandma’s cigarette-smoke filled home, the soap operas, Smurfs, ice cold milk in old jelly jars, and stale cookies out of her raccoon-shaped cookie jar.
I hear bits of my teacher trying to consul me about my lack of brain function over math. I feel the pain after hitting the wall instead of my brother with my pathetic attempt at a punch. Flashes of my high school and college jobs, the chop suey sold and all the apples and ramen noodles consumed by this broke college student.
Little fragments tinkle and crumble through my hand. But I’m forgetting. My mind is blank in some spots. I remember bits of my wedding, the hot, sticky, humid September air. The kiss from the leathery lips of my husband’s grandfather. I remember smiling so much my lips cracked, the frosting up my nose, my new husband’s hand on my satin-clad waist.
I must keep remembering in ink, so the remembering in life will never be forgotten. I must remember my babies births, that moment when they broke free of my womb and I see their precious face, lips, hands, and toes for the first time. It’s slipping away in a jumble of fog, life, hurt, joys and the simmering soup of time.
I don’t want to forget that first car my dad helped me buy, or the beauty, intrigue, and tension of my first love. The summer camp nights, big group of friends gazing at a sky full of stars. The miles I walked on campuses, Professor Grant’s face from English Lit or a sociology class that turned out fascinating. The Ph.D student from China, who I met and became close with, him cooking Chinese for me and I dubbing him Doc, his laugh echoing and head shaking at my lame attempt with his name. I could go on and on.
I must write to remember, keeping my life moments alive. I have these memories that only I can save from slipping away forever.
November sings out loudly my favorite practice of gratitude keeping. A sort of conscious, daily, or monthly digging for and airing of all the small things I have to be truly astonished by in life. Won’t you join me in this November song?
Looking Out My Window… it’s definitely turned frostier around our edges, the finches at the feeders bring a smile to my face watching them fluffing up their feathers, pulling on their sweaters for winter. The days are pretty mild still for this time of year and one of my little boy’s eyes grew saucer-sized at the promise of Christmas next month.
I’m Thinking… about loved ones walking through covid, about the approaching holidays, and about NaNoWriMo – a lovely November collective challenge online of writers who write 50,000 words of a new novel. While I’m not writing on a new project, I’m making an effort to work on writing each day. It’s gloriously inspiring! Do you NaNo?
I’m Thankful For… my oldest surprising me with a beautiful forest scene Kindle cover, a new stack of deliciousness to dip into from the public library, and anticipation over all the interesting things at our homeschool co-op tomorrow.
One of My Favorite Things… slowly collecting all of L.M. Montgomery’s stories and other writings. Bonfires, stargazing, and my new-to-me striped floral blanket.
I’m Wearing… my favorite green pants, new comfy jewel-toned socks, and tshirts and cardigans. I broke out my Red Converse and found some older, favorite earrings. I had to throw away my favorite slippers, so maybe Santa aka ME 😉 will get me some new ones for Christmas.
I’m Creating… scenes for my two middle-grade stories, working on two short stories, morning pages/journaling, blog ideas, and planning little Christmas gift surprises.
I’m Watching… Hercule Poirot 😄 and hopefully, Spirited Away soon.
I’m Reading… L.M. Montgomery short story collections, rereading Emily Climbs, Ray Bradbury’s Green Shadows, White Whale, and peeking into a library stack to see if anything catches my fancy. I just finished ✔️ The Personal Diaries of Alison Uttley and it was so interesting.
I’m Listening… Spotify Japanese instrumental, Studio Ghibli soundtracks, and Hobbit/LoTR soundtracks.
I’m Hoping… to keep up writing momentum, do Operation Christmas Child gift boxes with my children, and visit some favorite haunts with my husband soon.
In the Garden… frost, friendly ghosts, and dreams of summer 😌♥️
I’m Learning… that writing, sharing, servanthood, and art can birth new art and gifts…we fill to pour out ourselves. We return again and again in a glorious flowing seasonal circle of beauty.
In the Kitchen…lots of pork sausage with cabbage stir fry. The children love this mixed with brown rice. I created a Chicken Taco Chili in the Instapot and it was a hit. We’ve been eating more butternut, acorn, and spaghetti squash, too!
In Homeschool Room…we are enjoying our group gatherings at the table to listen to music or Shakespeare’s Hamlet while we nature journal.
Shared Quote… “LORD, we need more reincarnations of Thy perfect love like the Christ. Is that the goal every Christian ought to make his own? The question seems to answer itself. But how, God, can all these little Christians succeed when those who have best opportunity find it so hard? I see only two things: first, constant outpourings of Thy Holy Spirit; second, the doctrine of ever fresh beginnings. We may forgetfully sink for an hour, but we may also start over at any moment.” ~Frank C. Laubach
Let your heart rejoice, my friends! Love, Amy 🍁
Frankincense was a fragrance that arose only after being touched with fire. The burning incense became clouds of sweetness arising from the heart of the flames…
The Love-Life of Our Lord via Streams in the Desert p. 351
But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever…I will wait on Your name, for it is good.
Psalms 52: 8, 9b
“The seed is in the ground.
Now may we rest in hope
While darkness does its work.”
Wendell Berry
It’s late {for me} Saturday night. The noises of last minute doings, rumblings, and little children can be heard. I’ve had a day of inky ideas and wind-tousled whispers and thoughts and heart and Spirit stirrings. In-between all the dishes, spills, and grocery lines. But that’s ok, things wait. There’s a time and place and season. Aslan is on the move. The seed is in the ground…and I’m going to rest in hope, while darkness does her work. Hope you are hopeful tonight, too. Love, Amy
For God’s vision to be impressed on our hearts, we must sit in stillness at His feet for quite a long time. Remember, the troubled surface of a lake will not reflect an image.
Streams in the Desert, p. 355
Warmest and brightest autumn greetings, dear hearts ~
The colors of autumn are heart-achingly beautiful here and I can’t help but snuggle down into them and my current favorite poetry collection, The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry. This book and the Scriptures of The Holy Bible have been such a comfort and guiding light to me this past month. A month of homeschooling is now finished and I’m able to know what needs tweaking a little.
Looking out my Window…
I sink into goldenness…corn, beans, and other crops waiting to be harvested and the edges of leaves & grasses, deliciously dipped in color. The green is still here, but now more as a frame for the glorious autumnal painted splendor. Just unbelievably beautiful this time of year here in the northern Midwest US.
I’m Thinking… about a lot, but especially the books The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi (honestly, a huge surprise to me!) and Boundaries for Your Soul by Cook & Miller. Both are really helping me work through guilt/anxiety and also figure out some things about myself in a healthier way.
I’m Thankful for… my family pitching in a lot lately as I’ve battled head colds etc this past month. I’ve recently realized how thankful I am for my 2 yo, as he’s teaching me so much, brings so much joy, and is keeping me on my knees. Nature’s bounty and ironically, I’m so thankful for my gratitude journal to remind me of how much good there is even in the darkest days.
One of My Favorite Things… there’s never just ONE! 😉 Vanilla Almond tea, my red & black checked flannel, my thrifted jean jacket, and our public library. Original Irish Spring soap takes me back to my grandma’s bathroom instantly and lately, I’ve loved just being surrounded by its lovely scent.
I’m Wearing... my sweater stash is slowly resurrecting albeit we had a warm spell this last week. It’s been so nice to throw on jeans, a tshirt, and grab a cardigan. I’m bringing out my favorite 3/4 length sleeve sweater that I got last year thrifting, too. It’s blue and pink strip and I love it. So nice to meet old friends again, isn’t it?
I’m Creating.. not much currently, a few nature journal entries, penpal letters, and we started our terms handcraft of Faux Stained Glass.
I’m Watching… Victober Booktubers, Hallmark Mysteries -when I can find them on youtube-specifically Hannah Swenson, and Hungarian Rhapsodies #2 performances.
I’m Reading… the sci-fi YA Incarceron and two memoirs I’m really enjoying currently are Pastoral Song: A Farmer’s Journey by James rebanks and The Marches: A Borderland Journey Between England and Scotland by Rory Stewart. I’m slowly rereading Fellowship of the Ring, too, and boy, was it time. We all need a little J.R.R.T!
I’m Listening…this song popped on my Spotify and it’s not that I love it or anything, but boy, it brought me back to highschool. 🙂 I’ve been gravitating to old favorite instrumental tracks on youtube: Scottish, Moonlight on Sea, and Wind.
I’m Hoping… go on a belated anniversary trip with my husband to an art museum, nature trails, and a flea market for Christmas gift shopping.
In the Garden… it’s pretty much morning glories rioting and choking everything, saggy sunflower offerings for the birdie friends, and a few happy zinnias. We so enjoyed the last of the watermelons and I need to clean things out.
I’m Learning …to be gentle with the parts of myself I struggle with especially fear/anxiety/guilt. Acknowledging them, but not letting them overwhelm me. Bringing them to Jesus and being ok that they are there, yet not whipping myself over the head with feelings of failure because I can’t rid myself of them completely.
In the Kitchen … we made applesauce and bread now that it’s cooling down a bit. Still doing a lot of stir fries with brown rice, veggies, and a bit of meat. We were able to buy a lot of inexpensive cheese from a bulk Amish store and so we’ve been doing a lot of homemade pizza, too.
In the Homeschool Room… I’m not going to lie. It’s been exhausting and intense, BUT in a good way. We’ve been getting outdoors on nature walks a lot (in fact, I have a case of poison ivy to prove it! 😦 ), enjoying Liszt music, Vachel Lindsay’s unique, but surprisingly layered poetry, David Copperfield, so, so many interesting discussions about all the books, singing “This Land is Your Land”, and enjoying Rembrandt’s work. It’s an amazing privilege to get to do this life with my children.
Shared Quote…
What is love demanding of me right now? That is all that matters.
Bishop Robert Barron via Instagram
That’s all folks! Thanks for reading, ‘may the stars shine upon the end of your road’ {from Gildor, in Fellowship of the Ring} as you travel through glorious October. ❤ Love, Amy
A.M. Pine - Hearth Ridge Reflections 